Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Crabbie Theory

Years ago, I attended the Crab Festival in Mendocino County. While out on the boat, the crabbers would pull the crabs out of the traps, and throw them into the crab pots.

I sat and watch the crabs for a bit, and although the crabs had a chance to actually climb out of the pots, they never did.

Why? Because there seemed to always be another crab below that would grab onto the adventurous crab trying to get out, and pull it back down.

Very interesting.

Years later I attended a weekend seminar called Personal Mastery held by Klemmer & Associates.

Oddly enough, the subjects of crabs in crab pots came up. The facilitator explained that people are a lot like these crabs.

When we try to lift ourselves up, and bring ourselves out of our current situation, be it a divorce, a new job, or anything that might make OTHERS uncomfortable, there always seems to be a 'crabbie', those well intentioned people around us, who have the tendency to bring us back down.

Now these can be well meaning people. Our family and friends usually. We start to hear things like, 'why would you want to do that?!' or, 'it's only going to make things worse'. How about, 'I've heard of those schemes, they never work.'

My favorite one I've heard is, "I just don't want to see you get hurt."

The reasons behind these comments are usually because you are threatening the comfort zone of the person who is making the claim.

My mom used to say, 'misery loves company'. And she was right. People don't like seeing others snap out of their day to day thinking and start actually leading their lives consciously.

If you start working on yourself, creating more income, handle relationships better, losing weight, most people will take a look at themselves and realize they could benefit from doing the same thing.

However, it's easier to bring someone back down than it is to change. It takes a courageous person to accept the challenge of change. To take a hard look at their way of thinking, and their current situation.

It takes a courageous person to accept responsibility for their actions and is willing to change their actions.

So are you the crabbie trying to get out, or the crabbie that is pulling the courageous crabbie back down? Watch how you speak to the people closest to you and then decide.

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